LETTER FROM A SINNER
Mistakes are constantly made from an average person. It does help us to make a choice, wiser decisions for tomorrow. But, what if the wrong decisions became a habit of yours? How are you gong to survive?
Everyday a single mistake was done by each of us. No matter how we try to push ourselves to be great we always end up following the twisted fate. Why is that? Maybe, the society is the reason. Your very own family. Your ever supportive friends. Your never ending enemies. Most specially, your unworthy self. I realized that even if you try to convince yourself every minute, every second. I end up considering the opinions of the crowd. And THAT is the main reason why I end up being a daily sinner.
Back to the day when I was still a child, I am always curious about what adults feel towards life? Why being a child is so boring. You just have to follow the elders command. Just eat, play, sleep, repeat. And sometimes, you have to do some chores. I was so excited to be the so called “adults”. But when I became one, I regret dreaming. Adulting is so confusing, mind-blowing, surprising and most specially depressing.
It feels like you became the swimmer of a 3 ft. pool but still drowning, or like trying to reach the peak of Mount Everest naked and bare-footed. Why is it so far from the way I imagined it? This is also the stage where you question everything you believe in as a child. All those happy endings in fairy tales, all the courage you compile by watching to many motivating movies are suddenly gone. Have you ever wondered in your favorite place but can’t find the way out? That is exactly how it feels. It is suffocating. Here comes imagination.
I was always curious why the young adults nowadays consider suicide as a escape route? Is it because they want peoples attention? Is it because they have no choice? Is it because they are weak? Is it because the people they love can’t understand them? Yes maybe. But did you ever try to understand the situation of that specific person before you gave such trashy comments that she just needs attention? NO. The answer is simple, they are so tired on trying and pretending. I just hate to admit that this society sucks. It is literally fucked up. A world encircled by two faced humans. A world where you can just spill the coffee on the table and blame the other individual sitting across you. This is how the cycle of adulthood goes. Two person involved, one is attacker the other one is a blame-taker. Finally, the self-titled community serves as a judge.
The world is such a mess like this disorderly written letter. The perfect ones might laughed at this nonsense. But It’s okay. I admit my faults. Despite all the negatives I’ve seen in this sphere, there are still few good things existing somewhere. Those people who fight for their rights. Keep going. The few people of society who helps the community. The universe will guide you, bless you. Those parents who are still proud of their childs imperfections. You are the best! Never change. And to you, who keeps fighting everyday no matter what the consequences may be. I believe in you. Pursue your goals with a strong heart. You have to fight for you, Yourself. To all the sinners out there who still exert oneself to be forgiven. If you release yourself and completely surrender to God. You succeed! Congratulations.
My distorted life defines the good things happened in my past that I can cherish for a lifetime. To all the friends I met in the whole journey of my ups and downs. You all inspired me to be real. I thank you for popping up in my Neverland. All the strangers I met somewhere in this world. I don’t know your name neither your story but thank you for existing. Lastly, to my family who sticks to me during the good times, thank you so much for understanding and trusting me. I know you barely see my bad times because I always loved to keep it hidden. I’m sorry for that. I wish I become more open to you like a real family. Forgive be for being frightened of the aftermath, that I chose to solve problems with trouble. Again I apologize. There is no excuse. I plead guilty. I rest my case.
Photo: Ctto
